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The most common piece of advice I received throughout my pregnancy and as a new mom has been “sleep when the baby sleeps.” This is theoretically an amazing idea. Start off by trying to do this. For me, however, this was practically a very difficult thing to do. Newborns don’t exactly have a pattern of sleep, other than they sleep often. What else do they do often? Eat. This may mean only 30 minutes of real “down time" between feeds those first few weeks. I felt this weird stress around trying to sleep when the baby slept resulting in me not only NOT sleeping, but also feeling defeated (and like if I heard someone tell me to sleep when the baby sleeps one more time I would lose it). Once I changed my perspective on this “down time” to “rest and recharge” when the baby sleeps, I felt both more rested and more successful during the day.
To accomplish this, I dedicate one of Crockett’s naps a day to doing something that makes me feel recharged (for example, taking a shower, going for a solo walk, or doing a household task that I weirdly enjoy) and one of Crockett's naps a day to laying down and doing something that makes me feel rested (ex. watching TV, returning texts/phone calls, scrolling through social media or even taking a nap!). Importantly, I always make myself LAY DOWN for one of Crockett's naps (even if I feel like there are a million other things that I need to accomplish that day).
I only pick two of Crockett’s naps because that feels doable. The remainder of the day is generally focused on the needs of baby, the house, or myself (like eating non stop). As with everything baby related, I set these two naps as goals, but not hard and fast rules because you never know what your baby actually has planned for you each day. My goals for these two naps a day have evolved as Crockett has gotten older and slightly more predictable.
What did I do to rest and recharge during the first month/8 weeks? I kept it simple:
During Crockett’s first nap of the day I made the bed and did the dishes (time permitting). Why? Because being organized and tidy makes me feel GOOD. And in my life BC (before child), those were the first two tasks I did when I woke up. While I know no one else cared whether the dishes were clean and the bed was tidy when I had a 3 week old, I realized that I cared. It bothered me to leave them dirty and the act of completing these simple tasks made me feel accomplished and gave me a sense of normalcy and routine, when so much of my day was otherwise out of my control. Setting out to do something and actually finishing it helped me feel recharchged. Am I suggesting that you make your bed and do dishes in the morning? Absolutely not. In fact, you should not care one bit what your house looks like (unless you’re like me and you find certain chores therapeutic). What I am suggesting is that you find a task that you can complete daily that will give you a sense of accomplishment. Maybe this is taking a shower or sitting outside for 15 minutes with your coffee and instagram! What this is NOT, is reading a book about baby or researching something baby related. The recharge period is meant to be a break for you. You will have other opportunities throughout the day to focus on baby.
As for rest, I noticed Crockett’s longest nap of the day was mid afternoon (which was also when I was most tired) so during his mid-afternoon nap, I would lay down in my bed or on my couch. The critical part here was actually making myself lay down. Sometimes this rest period meant turning on the TV and watching New Girl (highly recommend starting a lighthearted series of 20ish minute episodes after having a baby). Sometimes this rest meant going through my phone returning text messages and phone calls from sweet friends. And sometimes this rest meant taking a nap! But by taking the pressure off of myself to fall asleep every time the baby slept, I found more often I would actually take a nap in the afternoon and even if I just laid down and watched TV, I felt much more rested than when my mentality was focused on sleeping.
As Crockett’s day has become slightly more predictable, I’m able to set different goals for myself during nap time, but the core principal of picking two naps a day for rest and recharge have remained the same.
What do you do to feel rested and recharged?
XOXO,
The mom next door
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