.png)
Today marks Crockett’s half birthday and with it, a huge milestone for us—6 months of breastfeeding! Why is this huge? Because six months was my personal goal for what I’ve chosen for our family.
Let me start by saying, FED is best. I truly believe this. Your body, your baby, your choice. However a mom chooses to feed her child is truly in that child’s best interest. You don’t know the physical, emotional or psychological hurdles that child or mama may have gone through. Also, it does not matter why a mom chose her path, it is HER decision to make. What’s best for baby and mama is THE RIGHT CHOICE. PERIOD.
I have been fortunate enough to have the option to breastfeed. No, breastfeeding is not as simple as choosing to breastfeed. It sometimes is not a viable option for families who may face insurmountable hurdles on their breastfeeding journey. I do not take for granted Crockett’s ability to successfully latch and my ability to produce milk. In fact, since Crockett’s first day of life, the very first prayer on our list when we pray together every night is “Thank you God for my ability to eat and my food supply.” Like I said, we do not take this for granted.
For me, breastfeeding has been an incredibly special bonding experience with Crockett and serves as some of my most cherished moments where I can spend quiet time reflecting on my love and gratitude for my precious son. During those first few days and weeks at home with Crockett when sleep is hard to come by and cluster feeding is the norm, instead of sinking into exhaustion (don’t worry, that happened later..) I focused on my gratitude for our successful breastfeeding relationship and soaked up EVERY moment of Crockett with me.
While I was pregnant, I never once was nervous for delivery. I knew I was delivering at a great hospital with a doctor (& team) I trusted and had faith that one way or another, baby would come out and we would both be okay. What I was nervous about was establishing a successful breastfeeding relationship because it is something I REALLY wanted and have shared in so many friends’ journeys who struggled. I prayed early on for this so when Crockett arrived and was able to latch, I was so relieved.
The learning pains are real. At the hospital, we had a “pretty good” latch, which gave me a little bit of false confidence because a few good latches with a trained nurse next to you isn’t quite the same as trying to latch at 3am at home with your husband. It took us a few weeks to really get into a groove and the nipple pain / soreness didn’t completely go away for about two months. My best advice to future self is to not stop working on the latch. Don’t settle for “good enough” because it prolongs the pain. I knew this at the time, but in practice would feel too bad popping Crockett off my nipple mid-feed to correct it. This delayed us really nailing our latch, and once we finally did, the pain subsided, but during this process, I discovered just how resilient I am.
I have been blessed with an oversupply of milk. While this is a good problem to have, it still comes with its challenging. Managing my supply has proven to be one of the most challenging elements of breastfeeding for me. There is a fine line between relieving engorgement through pumping and telling your body to make more milk and in those early months, it was a very blurred line and a challenge for me to figure out. I now can see how I crossed that line and made my oversupply worse. I was so worried about building a freezer supply for returning to work, which has become a moot point with COVID since I’m working from home, that I over pumped when the goal was really just to relieve engorgement / provide enough milk for that night’s bottle. To future me and other oversupply mamas I say ditch the pump and just use the Haakaa. With an oversupply, I’ve found myself with mastitis three times. It’s a pain, literally, and I continue to get better at trying to prevent it with home techniques (taking sunflower lecithin daily, addressing clogs the second I first feel them coming on, using the Haakaa + epsom salt trick..), but it’s also showed me my strength. I am strong enough to overcome these obstacles.
The other big breastfeeding challenge for my family has been Crockett’s food allergies. Crockett has a dairy, soy, and potentially peanut allergy, which means I’ve cut them all out of my diet. I complain about missing cheese, because really and truly I have never missed a food item more in my life than missing cheese during this time period (sorry Conley and friends who have to hear me talk about cheese all the time these days), but this has shown me how easy it is to sacrifice something I thought I loved so much (well really do love so much) for someone I love even more.
There is so much I could say about my breastfeeding journey, but really, I just want to say this: Thank you Crockett for showing me strength and resilience and sacrifice and helping me continue to grow as your mom every day. Thank you for showing me patience and forgiveness. Thank you for the sweet smiles that feel like they are just for me and for that little wandering hand that always finds my face or my finger or my heart to rest on. Thank you for the unconditional love. I do not take you for granted. I do not take this for granted.
Our journey continues and I know it will teach me more over the next however many months as it has taught me over the last six. And I will soak up every moment of it.
Breastfeeding resources:
Check if your insurance coverage includes a lactation consultant. Make sure to request a visit at the hospital whether or not you have “issues”
Here’s where to find a certified LC in your area: https://uslca.org/resources/find-an-ibclc
Pumping resources: Insurance should cover the cost of your pump (and maybe accessories too!).
MAKE SURE you have the correct flange size, actually measure your nipples: https://aeroflowbreastpumps.com/media/wysiwyg/Menu/Blog/Nipple-Diameter-Measuring-Tool-Page1.png
Instagram accounts: Pump_momma_pump; legendairymilk; milkymamallc.
Comentarios