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Four strong mamas have graciously shared their C-Section experiences and advice below. This is not just for mamas-to-be who may experience a C-Section. This is for all of us to better understand what each other are going through so that we may show compassion, support, and empathy for everyone's individual journey, whatever form it may take.
So much love and appreciation to each of these women for sharing with us in their own words.
XOXO,
The mom next door
Ellen Springer // Mom to Elizabeth & Nate
"I think the first thing that has to be said to the C-section mama is: you miraculous woman! You magnificent, tremendous mother! There is so much negativity about birth interventions in general, and C-sections in particular, in the mommysphere. Every birth story is a heroic story, of course! But I think sometimes C-section moms catch some shame or sense of failure from the rest of the internet and need an extra boost. So, no matter what led to someone being in the OR, hear me say: you are mighty, and wondrous!
*Preparing for a C.*
I’ve had both an unplanned and a planned C. Here’s what I did to prepare the second time around: Not much. Seriously. Compared to the mountain of having an infant, recovery from surgery was a molehill. The best preparation is mental: you will be having surgery; you will experience pain during recovery; you will be physically limited for a period of time; you will need help.
"No, really, surely there are things I need to buy?” Okay, yes:
High-waisted underwear. I got mine from Kindred Bravely, thinking I would toss them after I was done with lochia. Nope! After my first, my scar was easily irritated for 18 months after delivery. (Note: there is an Rx you can get to reduce scarification — the difference between my first scar and second is like comparing a drinking straw to a piece of straw)
If you’re planning to nurse: you will have no core strength, so furniture/pillows to support baby so you don’t have to are even more critical. If you’re planning on buying a rocking chair anyway, I cannot stress enough getting one that has padded arms and is tall enough to support your entire back and neck. As for pillows, I borrowed a boppy with my first but just used extra bed pillows with my second. Also, this isn’t gear but get someone to show you the “football” hold— I thought it was terrific for keeping my giant babies off my tender belly, especially for the first week.
Stroller. Yes, it’s super cute to think about baby wearing but at least at first your abs just can’t take it. Get a stroller, or get your partner to wear your baby, because the cardinal rule of C-section recovery is WALK. You must walk. As soon as you’re able (24 hours after surgery, and after your catheter is removed), start walking. Walk every day. You can do it!
Which leads me to a controversial statement: I did not use a belly binder. I wanted my body to heal as one unit, and I didn’t want to artificially extend my endurance. Plenty of women use them, happily. Just know it’s totally possible to skip it.
*What’s it actually like?*
Unplanned: scary! From the time my Doc recommended the C to baby being born was *fourteen minutes*. And they can do it faster if they have to! It was a whirlwind of being rolled to the OR, being separated from my husband while he suited up, focusing very hard on the anesthesiologist checking my epidural, and realizing I was being shaved and was totally naked (why did this feel like a big deal?).
When my husband came in the room, time slowed down again. I personally felt like I could let him be brave for both of us and I was allowed to freak out a little. Okay, a lot. The OR team was talking about a vacation one of them recently took, sooo casual. That was actually reassuring to me, that this was just a regular day in the office for them and not The End of Everything.
Then the tugging started, and I tried to focus on listening for my daughter — that helped, too. Except then she didn’t make any noise, and that became another thing to freak out about. Sometime around then, I got the shakes—I was shaking so hard I couldn’t hold my baby. They didn’t subside for another hour or so, so I don’t remember much about being sewn up (except that it felt like foreverrr) or being in the recovery room. I also threw up at some point. Normal!
Planned: Still scary! Ha. But really, on the whole, vastly improved. This time I had about two hours at the hospital getting ready and joking around with my nurses (this is in the early days of the pandemic, and they did a wonderful job of being reassuring and funny). I heard my OB give a little speech about me to the team, about how I was a friendly, nice patient and going to have a great experience (it was actually very sweet). I still felt weird about being naked and shaved. Oh well. Then my son peed all over everyone the moment he was born. No shakes, no vomiting. I did experience “referred gas pains” which felt like someone drilling a screw into my collarbone. Take the $2/pop Gas-X, folks.
Both: I spent four nights recovering from my first, and only two with my second. The nurses gave me lots of discrete tasks and goals like “drink liquids” “pee on your own” “pick up baby by yourself”. At first, just shuffling to the bathroom felt like I had swallowed a burning heap of glass shards — and that was with opioids! But every hour things got a little better. And then I got to go home, and every day got a little better. Until this morning, when I had to tweeze a pompom out of my daughter’s nose while her brother hollered like he’d never been fed in his life. But seriously, it gets better all the time."
Caitlin Bauer // Mom to Alice
"I said all along in my pregnancy that I DID NOT want a C-section. It was my absolute last resort. Baby was head down from 20 weeks, I was active all throughout my pregnancy, my mom delivered 3 babies, there was no reason I should need one. When I FINALLY went into labor at 40+5, I thought I would deliver and not have a problem.
Well after 18 hours of labor and 3 hours of pushing, little Miss was just too comfortable in there and not making her way down. When the doctors put the decision on me of how to proceed I just about had a panic attack. We were exhausted from being awake for almost 2 days and laboring/pushing. I knew we had to do the C-section and I cried...alot. After the surgery the doctor told me that she never would have fit through my pelvis and that I had made the right decision.
The surgery itself was not a big deal, honestly. It was relatively quick. I had some other complications (catheter trauma), but that was a totally one-off experience I won't get into. Recovering from the surgery was a whole different ball game, and one that I hadn't been prepared for because this was not in our plan.
We spent 2 hours in the recovery room after and it was nice to rest, get some ice chips, and start breastfeeding. She latched on right away and it was great.
Later that day I had some nausea from the anesthesia and threw up. You don't have much of an appetite and have to ease back into eating again. The next day I started with chicken broth, then scrambled eggs, and by day 3 I think I was starting to eat normal food again.
12 hours after surgery they will want you to get up for the first time. For me, this was 2:30 in the morning and all I wanted was to brush my teeth. The nurse helped me get up and hobble over to the sink, crying in pain the whole time and leaking blood all over the floor (god bless postpartum nurses). It hurts. It does. But it's part of the healing process.
The days in the hospital are definitely when the pain is the worst. But the good news is you've got all the help in the world there! Each day will get a little better and you will be able to move around a little bit more. I took the Motrin that they prescribed but never the stronger stuff. I'm not saying be a hero and don't take it, I'm just saying I never needed it. Take whatever you need to be comfortable. Send the baby to the hospital nursery at night so you can get some rest. This is the last chance you will get. Ask the nurses for the belly band and have them show you (and your husband) how to put it on tight. This supports your abdomen when it's time to get up and walk around and is crucial. I wore it for the first few weeks. Every day I set a goal to walk a little bit farther than the day before. One thing that was super weird is the trapped gas pain in your shoulder (what?!?), luckily when it comes, the nurses know exactly what to give you and it goes away easily.
Once we got home I was an emotional wreck. I think I cried a few times a day about the trauma that I had been through. Every time I saw my incision I thought it was this terrible awful sign of what I had been through (news flash: it's not. One year later and I can hardly even see the scar). This is totally normal. Your hormones are on a rollercoaster and you are going to be emotional no matter what. The good news is it should pass. And if it doesn't, tell someone, ask for help.
The biggest lesson I learned once we got home was that I needed to ask for help. I've never been one to ask for help and have always been quite stubborn in that regard. But now more than ever I had to learn. My husband had to help me to do everyday tasks for a while. (I don't think I changed a diaper for the first 3 weeks). We had a nice routine for those middle of the night feedings: the alarm would go off, he would turn on the lamp, come around to my side of the bed, sit me up (remember, you can't use your abs), put pillows behind me, get the baby out of the bassinet, I'd feed her, he'd burp her, change her, hand her back to me, I'd finish feeding her, he'd put her back in the bassinet, help me lay back down, go back to his side, turn off the light and say see ya in 3 hours. He had to help me up and down from the couch, the bed, help me shower, everything. Each day I got a little bit stronger and more mobile. Walking is important to gain strength and keep your blood circulating to help you heal. In between those walks I was generally on the couch with an ice pack on my incision.
When will you feel like yourself again? Everybody told me at 2 weeks I would turn some magical corner. Well 2 weeks came and went and I was so upset that I wasn't back to normal yet. I would say it's more like 3 weeks but you have to give yourself grace here. Every single person is different and you will heal in your own time.
You have a followup appt at 2 weeks to take the tape off the incision and clean it up. After 2 weeks you can drive again (but probably won't because there is nowhere to really go with a 2 week old). Then after 6 weeks you are cleared for normal activity. Cliffs notes:
Learn to ASK FOR HELP and accept help when it is given
ask for the belly band, and use it any time you are moving around
mentally think about not using your abs when trying to get out of bed/off the couch
take the pain meds if you need them
keep ice packs handy to ice your incision
rest when you can, it's an important part of healing
walk a little bit more every day
don't focus on the incision, it heals!
give yourself some grace, it takes time to recover from a major surgery"
Kelsi White // Mom to Warren
"Here are a few of my recs and not-worth-its for c sections:
Disposable underwear by Frida Mom - recommend. You mentioned these on your post, and the ones for c sections are THE BEST. Better than the hospital underwear because they go up higher.
High-waisted granny panties for the post-disposable phase - recommend. I loved these underwear for weeks 2-8. Some women don't have much postpartum bleeding after c sections because they clean out your uterus after the surgery to try to prevent blood clots. So there often isn't much blood left. That is how it was for me. These were comfortable because they hit at your belly button, way above the incision. They are also stretchy and full coverage which made me feel better about my body in the postpartum phase. I did not want to even try on my regular underwear.
Comfy dresses - recommend. I found it really hard to wear any kind of pants (even maternity sweatpants, leggings) because it was uncomfortable having anything on the incision. I got two of these dresses and they were my absolute favorite: https://dwellandslumber.com/collections/cocoon-dresses Because of the buttons at the top, it was easy to nurse while wearing it. Amazon has similar, cheaper options too: https://www.amazon.com/Ekouaer-Nightwear-Womens-Nightshirts-Sleepwear/dp/B07KS8TWM1/ref=sr_1_21?dchild=1&keywords=big+night+dress+for+women&qid=1594342405&s=apparel&sr=1-21
Belly wrap - caution. I used the hospital wrap as long as possible. Without it on, it felt like my intestines were coming out of my body haha. When it became too large for me, I bought one of the wraps from BellyBandit for recovery but didn't end up liking it. https://bellybandit.com/collections/c-section-recovery/products/bff-wrap I found that it irritated the incision because it wasn't thick enough to start at my belly button and completely cover the incision. This may have been because I am tall. But I would caution anyone who had a c section from buying one of these unless they actually get to try it on or get a rec from someone with a c section who used that particular type of wrap and had success with it. I ended up just using the hospital one until I felt comfortable without it.
Recovery tip - Walk, walk, walk. I cannot stress enough how much I recommend walking as much as possible as soon as possible. I was moving normally by 1 week post-op, and I credit the fact that I was walking laps around the hospital floor starting 2 days after post-op and started walking in my neighborhood every day when we got home (4 days post-op). I walked slowly of course, but increased my distance a bit each day. It hurts really bad at first, but it is the quickest way to get back to moving more normally. This also helps get your digestive system working again. One difference with c sections is that your first bowel movement doesn't hurt (no pushing), BUT it can take a long time to happen... Major abdominal surgery basically shuts down your intestines. Walking helps wake it all back up. On that note, I made sure to eat gentle foods while in the hospital (I was there for 3 nights, 4 days) and I think that paid off. Think lots of soup, jello, oatmeal, etc.
Engorgement - cabbage. I also had engorgement issues. The internet had this bizarre advice about putting cabbage in the fridge and putting the cold leaves on your boobs. This felt AMAZING. Like, it legitimately made me feel so much better. So, you can believe some of what you read on the internet!"
If any C-mamas or mamas-to-be out there want to talk to a C-mama, Kelsi would be happy to talk, just ping me and I will connect you!
Celene Hibbing // Mom to Aiden
"I found myself not needing to buy too much extra items for a C-Section.
Here are a few things I would recommend and enjoyed during my recovery:
Support System. My mom stayed with us the first week when we finally were sent home. We spent about 4 days in the hospital with an amazing team of doctors and nurses! My mom stayed with us the first week home, and my in-laws our second week home. They were such a blessing. They focused on stuff around the house (cleaning, dishes, laundry, dogs, etc.), they helped with diaper changes and feedings, and helped my husband also get a break. It was very hard to get around and up from the bed or couch. So this I truly recommend if you can. They helped me up and down from the couch and bed- I never realized how much of your stomach muscles you use to do a simple task as such until you have the surgery. I could only carry my baby as well. It was not recommended to carry anything heavier.
C-section waist compression. I received this at the hospital. This saved me! It was simple and so efficient. I placed it right underneath my scar. It was also Velcro so I could tighten or loosen it if I needed to. This helped keep pressure on my scar which helped with the amount of pain and made it more comfortable. Best thing ever.
Time. My doctor gave me a 6 week recovery period where I was very limited with activities such as driving, working out, sex, etc. I didn’t want to chance it and was very cautious with everything I did.
Pain reliever. I was sent home with my pain reliever from the hospital but also had some Motrin on hand for when I ran out.
Stool softener. Girl lol. And lots of walking to assist also.
Changing station. We placed a changing station in the living room as well since I wasn’t able to move much and helped when my husband had to go back to work.
Pre-made or frozen meals.
High-waisted undies. Still my favorite thing (sorry hubby) I bought so many off of amazon.
A lot is just managing your pain and taking the time to properly heal."
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